LISTEN AND LEARN, by Kay Cooke
Summer 2008
Waiting areas are fascinating places don’t you think? The environment reveals much about the heart of any company and generally, we pay good attention to things like decoration, temperature, branding, comfort and brand association.
So there I was, running through my mental checklist, ticking boxes for positive visual and physical stimuli, when I tuned into a very pleasant telephone voice coming from the room next door.
How often have you done the very same thing? Like when you’re waiting to be served and overhearing an argument or a couple of disgruntled assistants bemoaning their ‘lot’. And this matters, because customers make judgements on what they see, feel and hear.
So the lovely girl voice in the room next door was in telesales and clearly had been trained in the ‘smile down the phone’ trick, because the energy passing over her vocal chords was authentic and enthusiastic.
Here’s the thing though, she lost all five pitches to clients in the space of my five-minute wait. How?
Tonality, pitch, pace, energy, enthusiasm – all excellent and guaranteed to clear hurdle number one.
Authenticity and credibility of the brand she represented – also excellent. Good, that clears hurdle number two.
Language used. This is where hurdle number three doubles in size, then doubles again ... “Can I speak to the person responsible for ...” well either you can or you can’t (yes/no), because you’re now at the mercy of the person who filters or fields phone calls all day long.
A quick review of how our brains respond to language reveals an alternative “who is the person responsible for ...” as this may well get you a name at least.
And “who is the best person ...” is more powerful still because it strongly suggests that there is one best person and directs the other person’s thinking to provide a solution.
“When would be a good time to call back ...” suggests there is a good time and “when is the best time to call back ...” is stronger still; more directional and goal focused.
The mysteries of the ‘power of language’ are as old as language itself and as Paul Rusesabagina pointed out in An Ordinary Man (Hotel Rwanda), the best weapon known to man is the power of language.
TOP TIPS FOR GOAL-FOCUSED LANGUAGE
Be clear about what you consider a successful outcome. If your desire is to get the sale over with quickly or to get to the pub for 7pm, then that’s exactly the direction your brain will take you in and you risk losing a sale. Remember the unconscious mind is goal seeking and will pursue your ‘true’ inner thoughts at the expense of what you ‘say’ you want. Act ‘as if’ you have closed the sale.
Only use language that pre-supposes a successful outcome. Don’t say don’t! Put it like this. If I say to you ‘don’t think of a pink elephant’ what do you think of? Yes, a pink elephant and that’s because the brain can’t process a negative instruction without making sense of the words spoken in the first place. So, ‘don’t worry’ or I’m not being pushy here’ have to be evaluated by the brain as ‘do worry’ and ‘you are being pushy here’. Use only positive language!
Beware the word ‘hope’ because it pre-supposes failure. ‘I hope to speak to you soon’ translates as maybe I will, maybe I won’t. ‘Looking forward to speaking to you soon’ is a powerful future-pacing tool.
Avoid the word ‘try’ – Yoda says “do or do not do; there is no try” - and using the word ‘try’ may well weaken your pitch.
No buts! How often do you hear “ah yes, I see what you mean, BUT, I have to say ...” This little word powerfully negates what has been previously said and that can lead to lack of respect between the two communicators. Insert AND instead of but and notice the difference it makes to everyday conversation.
Perhaps the most powerful communication tool of all is actually the simplest NLP language pattern that will get you past a Rottweiler-receptionist, and it’s also the greatest tool for instant rapport. Which is one of the things we train people in - The Language of Influence; Elegant and Persuasive.
To find out more check out our NLP training.
©Kay Cooke 2008